Carol Channing

The mainstream success of comedienne oddball Carol Channing is one of the great mysteries of all time. How her trademark wide-mouthed trill, lithe, muppet-like body, white-blonde hair, and bizarre, yet eternally endearing affectations ever became a television mainstay, even taking the 1970's into consideration, is the subject of many a card game in the Castro district. Another perplexing matter about the original Dolly Levi is why, in the mid nineties, she arrived at her weekly Hatha Yoga class wearing a spruce new pair of fake eyebrows. Oh, wait. I'm sorry. That was not the mysterious part of the story. She was wearing the eyebrows because she singed off her own in some sort of incident. History has yet to expound on whether Channing's brows were removed by overdoing it on the bleach, or whether actual flames of fire were involved, in what could have been a dramatic case of face ignition. Let's assume the latter, since it would fit in with the theme.